Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
