Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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