sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
