Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
