PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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