I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think my vagina is haunted
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
