i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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