yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
