i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
