we have pet lesbian snakes
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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