True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
