You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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