In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
