She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize