are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Acid is not a monday night drug
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
