It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
