winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
