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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick

  (541): View more from Oregon

  the rest of him looks just as crooked

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• (210): View more from Texas

  it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it

  (812): View more from Indiana

  You had 10 drinks. On a first date.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I just masterbated then started bawling.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.

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• (631): View more from New York

  I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.

  (631): View more from New York

  If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.

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