I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize
