Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
