bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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