and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
do herpes really smell.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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