this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
