Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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