you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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