did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
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