Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
