So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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