oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dick very happy bro
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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