Jerry, you need to find god
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
