I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
