I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
