I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
