I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
