you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
