What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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