Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
