i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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