:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize