Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My breasts were aching with rage.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
