whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
