Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
