I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize