So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
