All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
