Pappa wants mamma naked
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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