Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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