STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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