8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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