He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
