all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
