In the future we'll all be gay
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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