oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
