after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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