margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
