We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
