And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
