can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
