The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Drunk is a universal language darling
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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