So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
