I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
