I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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